A person who loves you would never hurt you intentionally and if anyone tells you otherwise, it definitely isn’t love! This woman, Jane (not her real name), from Singapore was brutally abused by her then-boyfriend, who almost killed her in the process.
Based on an interview in The New Paper, as a result of the vicious abuse, she had to be admitted to hospital for at least five times and her body is covered in scars. That’s not all, her vision is also affected as she is blind in one eye while the other eye has only 80% vision.
Their relationship lasted about six years, when Jane was just 22 years old. During this time, her ex-boyfriend hit her so badly that her windpipe collapsed, almost killing her. He also used a hammer and screwdriver to beat her up and sexually assaulted her as well.
When you hear about stories like this, of people getting abused, you might be thinking, “That’s crazy, he/she should totally leave their abuser!” But things are not that simple!
For Jane, she loved her ex-boyfriend and he managed to manipulate her so well, she believed that she deserved the abuse as it was caused by her actions. “I believed that it was really because I did something wrong. I felt I did not do things well,” she explained.
As with many abusers, he isolated her from her family and friends, so that she had no one to turn to when she finally wanted to escape. He did not allow her to contact them and would even lock her up at home. She tried to break free from him and get help but he managed to track her down and issued violent threats to Jane and her family.
Her family was frightened by Jane’s abusive ex and cut off all ties with her. She was forced to return to him and once, when she was in the hospital, her mother refused to listen to Jane’s pleas for forgiveness. “I finally escaped one day and moved to my sister’s new home so he couldn’t track me down, but I still have the scars to remind me of what he did to me,” Jane said.
Jane’s domestic abuse case is just one of many that Pave, a non-profit organisation in Singapore that promotes healthy relationships, has seen before. Abused and unmarried victims cannot get personal protection under the Women’s Charter in Singapore and they will have to wait to get protection via magistrate’s complaints or under the Protection from Harassment Act (Poha).
However, this is set to change soon as Law and Home Affairs Minister K. Shanmugam has said that they are making amendments to the law. “The changes we are making to the law, whether under Poha or the Penal Code, recognise that people need quick justice,” he added.
Some of the changes that are expected to take place include the setting up of the new Protection from Harassment Court, where those at risk of violence can seek legal protection such as an expedited protection order within 24 hours.
Domestic violence is no joke and these victims should be given all the help they need!
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