In Malaysia, we have many ethnicities that live together harmoniously and interracial relationships aren’t that uncommon here either. As with many relationships, interracial ones have their own hurdles as well and this Malaysian girl recently shared a big problem she was having with her family and boyfriend on Reddit.
“My boyfriend and I have been together for about five months now. I am Chinese whereas he is Malay, and both of us are university students. We are both happy and content with the relationship and very supportive of each other. However, the problems arose when my parents did some sleuthing around and discovered that we were in a relationship.”
Apparently, her parents had been eavesdropping whenever she was on the phone with her boyfriend and when they found out, they started scolding her. Her parents started flinging wild accusations about her boyfriend, saying that the relationship would cause her studies to deteriorate and that he was a bad influence with no justifications as they have never met him properly.
“I totally understand that they are only saying this out of concern because they do not want me to get involved in romance until I start working. My mum is also afraid that I might never turn back once I go down the wrong path (e.g. unwanted pregnancy). My dad even said that if I was going to do this, then it’s better if I drop out (of university) instead. He said not to waste his precious time and money if I was going to end up like sh*t.”
Ever since her parents found out about her relationship with her Malay boyfriend, they would perform random spot checks and pick her up from the university without informing her beforehand. They did not listen to their daughter’s explanations even though the couple were both top students and actually helped each other in their studies.
After a while, things got back to normal as she kept quiet so that she would not provoke her parents again. However, just last night (Feb 20), when her extra class ended at 10pm, her father came to pick her up and waited for her. He saw her boyfriend and got angry during the ride home.
“At 2am, I was woken from my sleep by this furious rapping on my door. Outside, my dad was angrily asking me to open the door. I did, and he asked, ‘What do you think you’re doing now?’. He then proceeded to intimidate me like the first time around and when I didn’t say anything, he came over and slapped my face, shouting, ‘Do you hear me?!’. My mum was also awake by now, saying that she had already warned me. She also said that she was sad and disappointed that I lied to her because previously, I told them there was nothing between the both of us and we were just friends.”
They lectured her for an hour in the middle of the night and even said that she was a disappointment to the family. She is now at a loss about what she should do as she doesn’t want to leave her boyfriend but doesn’t want to antagonise her parents as well.
“I truly understand where my parents come from and I want to have a good talk with them about the situation, but I don’t see it ever happening without them getting extremely mad and blaming me. I honestly don’t know what to do now. I love them and appreciate their care for me, but I think they are just not acting logically in this matter.”
You can read her full post here or the TL;DR version here:
“Parents strongly opposes me (Chinese) having a Malay boyfriend and being in a relationship. Does not listen to my explanations, blames and threatens violence on him even though he has done nothing wrong.”
Netizens who saw her post were quick to comment and give their opinions on the matter. They had mixed reactions on the issue but ultimately, most of them advised her to take things slowly and try to discuss it properly with her parents. They also said that she should arrange for a formal meeting between her boyfriend and her parents so that they could get to know each other better.
What do you think about this issue? What advice would you give to the girl? Let us know in the comments!
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