Recently, a post on Twitter of a Malaysian woman celebrating her divorce has captured the netizens’ attention. Netizens couldn’t help but cheered her on as she gave her reason for her separation in the caption.
The caption wrote, “Divorce is always seen as a bad thing. But it’s not a bad thing when you’re finally free from abuse. So here is me celebrating freedom.”.
Speaking to WORLD OF BUZZ, the 27-year-old English teacher, Aira, didn’t expect that she would receive so many positive comments under her post. Her best friend suggested throwing her a divorce tea party after her ‘iddah’ period ends and when she told the plan to her therapist, the expert agreed as it would override the trauma into something positive.
Aira continued to speak about her experience with her emotionally abusive ex-husband during the period of her marriage. She explained that her ex-husband knew that Aira suffered from an anxiety disorder even before they began dating. Later on in the marriage, she realised that her husband has anger management issues which resulted in her mental health deteriorating. Aira had suffered a lot of traumatic experiences in her own home that made her often visit her therapist.
“I had to be back on medication and go to therapy twice a month because of his treatment of me. I was also diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder type 2 last January.”
When asked about her family’s reaction, Aira stated that her parents wanted to take her back with them but gave the ex-husband the benefit of the doubt. Her ex-husband would even warn her to not tell anybody about his abusive behaviour.
Aira shared that she once told somebody about her suicide attempt and the treatment she received at home, and then she had to face his anger. She stayed silent ever since, fearing it will anger her ex-husband if she ever opened her mouth about his treatment towards her. However, upon her family discovering the abuse she had suffered from the ex-husband, they immediately came to her defence and pulled her safely away from him.
“My parents reassured me that I deserved to be treated better and that they don’t think divorce is bad when you are in a marriage that almost cost you your life.”
She added that her ex-husband was the one who requested the divorce because he couldn’t tolerate Aira’s mental health issue and even refused to go for marriage counselling. Once she agreed to the divorce, she explained how she felt a whole mountain of fear was lifted off her shoulders.
She further added that she has stopped taking one of her medications as her doctor noticed how healthy she has become after two months of her divorce. She’s also aware of how healthier and mentally stronger she has become to which she doesn’t need to see her therapist as often now.
Initially, she was fearful of the stigma of being a divorcee because it’s the women that usually carry it around. However, she’s very grateful that her family and friends continue to support her and doesn’t treat her any different. Aira believes that marriage is sacred and divorce should always be the last resort, however, if it’s saving someone from an abusive relationship then divorce shouldn’t be frowned upon.
“Something that I get a lot now is people telling me ‘it’s okay you’ll find someone better’. But I think I don’t need or want someone better or someone else to feel okay because that’s just going to make me dependant on others instead of loving myself and knowing when I am being treated wrongly.”
It’s empowering to her when people noticed the struggle and abuse she went through and how she survived through it all. Aira knows that she’s independent and is strong by herself, even if there’s nobody beside her.
As a YouTuber and a doodle artist who advocates for mental health, it’s crucial for Aira to spread awareness for those who are still tangled in an abusive relationship. She shared that it’s truly terrifying when the abuse becomes physical and nobody deserves to be treated as such by the person they love.
“Please love yourself and know that you are precious.”
Her Twitter post has gained so much traction and many are in support of her decision. She’s extremely grateful to the women who’ve come forward and shared a similar experience to her and that people wish for women to be treated with the respect that they deserved.
Divorce is always seen as a bad thing. But it's not a bad thing when you're finally free from abuse. So here is me celebrating freedom. Thank you girls. I just wished I had the brat here too. pic.twitter.com/T7cXYbuQ1g
— 🌻A I R A🌻 (@airawr_) September 16, 2020
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